


Transitions

by artemiscrowley67



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Abuse, Assassination Attempt(s), Canon-Typical Violence, Eating Disorders, F/F, F/M, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, Internalized Misogyny, M/M, Misogyny, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Other, Polyamory, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Harm, Trans Armitage Hux, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Poe Dameron, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2020-06-09 21:13:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19484161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artemiscrowley67/pseuds/artemiscrowley67
Summary: General Emilia Hux had always felt a bit different than she was sure other women felt like. She had always felt like, well, a man. When she opens up about this to her fuck-buddy (definitely not lover) Kylo Ren, she's met with surprising support. General Armitage Newton Alexander Hux decides he's done hiding the man that he is.Unfortunately, not many of his superiors in the First Order are very happy with this decision, and it sets in motion many events that neither the General nor his definite-lover Kylo Ren could have foreseen coming.





	1. Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is entirely self-indulgent, as I actually believe all writing (especially fanfic) should be. My personal headcanons will be everywhere, and I sort of let my brain go buck wild with this. And I may have just finished watching Good Omens before I wrote part of the first chapter, so it will sound a little weird. But I hope any readers enjoy this, as I often find myself craving more good fics with a trans character in them. I am a trans man, so some of what Hux will go through in this fic is just my own shit I'm working out. And Hux' and others' opinions on transgender and other identities are definitely not my own. My own will align more with what you'll read from Kylo and Poe. 
> 
> Also, the ratings and tags may change as I go along, so please heed any changes, because those will be a definite inclusion of said content. 
> 
> All else aside, please enjoy!

CHAPTER ONE: CONFESSIONS

“I can hear you thinking. What’s wrong?”  
Ren’s voice is jarring, in the near-complete silence that follows their most recent meet-up, breaths having calmed and sweat cooled. Hux bristles, snapping back, “I’ve told you not to read my mind,” but a soothing hand run through red, mussed hair has her ire lessening.  
“I wasn’t. You’re just making that face you make when you can’t get something out of your head.” Ren’s voice is reproachful, almost apologetic, no doubt remembering the times he did steal the thoughts directly from Hux’ mind, regardless of her opinion on the matter. Those instances have faded recently, with their new arrangement. The perks of having the most powerful Force user in your pocket were rather expansive.  
Hux sighed, muttering under her breath, “I don’t have a face,” even as she considered voicing her thoughts. She had been struggling with them for a while now, without any clue as to what she was actually struggling with could even be classified as. She would call them doubts, questions, but there really wasn’t any doubt anymore. Not after the veritable decades she’d spent thinking and mulling over these ideas. Nor were there any questions, simply because she had no way to word them. At least no way that would actually make sense to her, let alone anyone else.  
“That’s not the point and you know it.” Ren’s protests are hard, demanding, leaving Hux no room to wiggle her way out of this conversation. Ren was always like this; demanding what he wanted when he wanted, and when he knew it was better for Hux to listen than for her to make her usual excuses, he kept pushing past her bullshit. It was the only reason Hux hadn’t managed to push away the overly-aggressive man child by this point.  
Sitting up, and curling her legs under her, Hux quickly swept her hair into a messy tie, keeping it out of her face. She sighed, figuring she might as well tell the truth. Ren would find a way to hate her one day anyway, and this was just a good a reason as any to give the man. “What’s on my mind,” she begins simply, “is how other people see me. Namely, in the context of the role of ‘woman’.”  
Ren’s brow crinkles, the soft lines beginning to deepen as the man approaches his thirtieth year in this galaxy. “Are the Brass being assholes again? Kriff, Hux, I thought we’d dealt with that.” Ren sits up, running a soothing hand along Hux’ shoulders, where he knew she would hold all the tension from her shifts.  
Hux waves her hand dismissively, rolling her eyes. “No, it’s not that, though they are certainly a part of this.” She grins, a slight uplifting of her lips that speaks of untold plans. “Their petty sexism is of no consequence to me, aside from how I can use it to make them squirm.” The grin fades. “But what I am about to tell you is extremely confidential, and they cannot know about any part of it. It would ruin me.”  
Her voice had dropped to a whisper, her trepidation more than apparent in every word. Ren’s frown deepened, and he shifted marginally closer to his lover. “Hux? You know you can trust me. But I can’t help if I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  
Hux searched those soulful, deep pits of near black, eyes that, at times, appeared to be more of a void than the blackness of space itself. She could trust. She had bared every part of herself to him, in their quiet moments, and he had bared his to her in turn. This last secret was the only part of herself that she had kept hidden away, buried under every other stray thought she had in an attempt to protect the strange thoughts.  
This was the last bit of herself to give away.  
“I . . .” She sighed, frustrated at her lack of vocabulary. “I don’t honestly know how to explain this. It’s as if I’m missing a part of the language that would let me tell you.” She rested her head on Ren’s shoulder, in a half-arsed attempt to hide the fear that she knew was no doubt showing in her eyes. “So do not expect my usual eloquence in this matter.”  
Ren nods, smoothing back a stray bit of hair and planting a gentle kiss to her crown. “I’ll keep it in mind, O-Great-Orator.” Hux laughed, smacking Ren’s chest playfully. She could feel his grin against her hair, and she let herself breathe in the contentment for just a second, even as her stomach roiled. It would all fade away, in just a second.  
“Ever since I was a child,” she keeps her voice low, almost afraid that someone else will hear, even though she and Ren both take great precautions to never be overheard when they do not wish to be. “I have felt a sort of . . . disconnect, from the idea that I was a girl. This continued when I came of age, and I still, to this moment, struggle to see myself as a woman.”  
Ren is uncharacteristically quiet, simply listening for once in his thrice-damned life. Hux took a second to recollect herself; she had been expecting a . . . bit more reaction. Any reaction at all, to be truthful.  
“Instead,” a nervous swallow, “I often think of what it would be like to be a man. If, say, I were to one day wake up in the body of a man, with the name of a man, and I were to start my shift to the address of Sir rather than Ma’am.”  
Hux flinches when Ren lets out a laugh. While she had known how ridiculous this all sounded, she had expected at least a bit of seriousness from Ren. She supposed it was in his nature to do the opposite of expectations, or even the opposite of what one ought to do.  
Apparently seeing - or perhaps sensing - her hurt and confusion, Ren is quick to press a soothing and apologetic kiss to her forehead. “I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you, I swear.” At her no doubt dubious look, Ren rolls his eyes. “I’m relieved. You had me thinking you were going crazy or something!” Ren’s eyes soften, and something a little too close to love for Hux’ own comfort is directed at her. “But you’re completely sane still, and I absolutely understand what you’re talking about.”  
Hux sits up a bit more, reaching for her undershirt and slipping it over her head as she scoots away from Ren. “How could you possibly understand? It’s not normal! And I can’t possibly be sane.” She shrugs, muttering, “Other women don’t imagine what a joy it would be to be a man.”  
Ren’s overly large hands - absolutely too large hands if you asked Hux - wrap around her waist, and more apologetic kisses are pressed to her still bare shoulders. “Well, no, I don’t understand, not fully. And you’re right, women don’t wonder what it’s like to be a man and come out thinking it’s the option they want.” He seems to struggle to find his words, as Hux had been the few minutes before. “But Hux, I don’t think you’re a woman. I think you’re a transgender man.”  
Hux frowns, staring down at where Ren had rested his head against her shoulder. “‘Transgender’? Ren, what in the Maker’s name are you talking about?” Hux had never heard that word before; was it some sort of strange psychological condition she had never studied? Was there medication to fix it? Had it been interfering with her capacity as General?!  
“Stop panicking idiot, it’s not something bad.” Ren pauses, head tilted in apparent thought. “Well, not to any being with any sense.” He reaches over Hux to the datapad waiting on the side table, luckily Ren’s own datapad. Hux didn’t want anything . . . incriminating to be pulled up on her datapad in the course of this conversation. After a flurry of typing and scrolling, Ren hands the datapad over. “Read this. It’s probably a better explanation than I could ever form.”  
Hux hesitates, looking down at the datapad that Ren holds out to her. She slowly takes it, reading over the page Ren had pulled up as the man himself laid his head on her shoulder once more, wrapping those massive arms around her waist and pulling her close.  
The page seemed to be full of definitions, purely informative. Hux was surprised to see that Ren even knew such holonet sites existed, and commented as such, only to receive a playful shove and chuckle in response. After a soft chuckle of her own, she returned to reading.  
The first definition that caught her eye was for the term ‘Gender Identity’. ‘One's innermost concept of self as male, female, a blend of both or neither – how individuals perceive themselves and what they call themselves. One's gender identity can be the same or different from their sex assigned at birth.’ Well, that was rather straightforward. Hux assumed most people had to have a deep enough sense of self to know if ‘man’, ‘woman’, or anything else might apply to them. She was reading this because of her own strange thoughts on such a thing, after all.  
She continued reading, looking for that word Ren had used. ‘Transgender’. ‘An umbrella term for people whose gender identity and/or expression is different from cultural expectations based on the sex they were assigned at birth. Being transgender does not imply any specific sexual orientation. Therefore, transgender people may identify as straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc.’  
“Are you saying,” She asks quietly, looking down at the page, “that because I am called a female and expected to be a woman, but I don’t want to be a woman, that this definition applies to me?” She pointed to the definition. It made sense, in a strange way. She had always been expected to uphold certain ideas of what others thought a person that looked like her should be. Not that she had ever been those things, but even as she defied most of those expectations, it was the ones that lingered that she took issue with.  
“They can.” Ren’s voice is a soft encouragement in her ear. “If you think it should, or that it feels right. Only you have the authority to make that choice about yourself.” Ren shrugs, a movement made awkward by the placement of his body in relation to Hux’ own. “I thought about it for a while, after I first left . . . that life. But I didn’t think it applied. I don’t take an issue with the idea of being a man, completely and wholly and always. I just am one, and I’m okay with that.”  
Hux nods absentmindedly, only half listening to Ren as she continues to read. She finds comfort in the idea of gender dysphoria being an explainable phenomenon.  
Once she comes across the term ‘gender transition’, she turns in Ren’s arms to face the man. “Can one do this? Change who they are?” She looks up at Ren, wondering if her hope and relief are as apparent as they feel. She wasn’t stuck in this hell? She wasn’t trapped in a body that felt wrong and vaguely as if it had been mistakenly assigned to her?  
Ren smiles softly, brushing some of her hair from her eyes. “Yes. Hormones and surgery can go a long way these days. But it’s something you should think about, if you feel like that’s something you’d want.” Ren gently pries the datapad away, and Hux reluctantly watches it go. She wanted to learn more. “But you don’t have to make any choices tonight. Kriff, you never have to make a choice.”  
Hux snuggles into the hold that she’s dragged into, letting Ren place them both down on the bed once more. Everything she had read was bouncing around her mind, and a bone-deep exhaustion took over her as Ren added, “I could always find an anonymous forum so you can talk to some transgender people about this. I’m sure they’d be willing to help you figure things out, if you want.”  
Hux nods, yawning softly. “I’d like that.” She whispers, curling her fingers with Ren’s. “Thank you, for this. I thought . . .” She nearly blushes in embarrassment at how inaccurate her judgement of the man had been. “I thought you would hate me.”  
She dozes off, and she thinks it must be a dream when she hears a murmured, “I could never hate you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the definitions provided here are from the Human Rights Campaign website, because I was honestly too lazy to find anything else, and they seemed to be close enough for my uses. 
> 
> If you'd like to leave a comment, you're more than welcome, the only reason I have them moderated is so that I can filter out any (hopefully unlikely) transphobia that may be directed at this fic. I'm used to dealing with it, but my readers shouldn't have to read it. I intend for this fic to be a safe space, and any transphobia in this fic will be directly challenged and often faced with consequences, as it should be in life.
> 
> I also can't promise any sort of update schedule, or that I'll ever actually finish this work. But I'll do what I'll do, so there's no use in making false promises. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the chapter.


	2. Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo helps Hux become comfortable with new pronouns, and in choosing a new name. A slight mention is made to the complexities of family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to mention a character in a chatroom, whose identity you all will be told later. Anyone who guesses the person gets a virtual cookie.

CHAPTER TWO: DECISIONS

Kylo didn’t know what he expected when he returned to his quarters after his day’s work out - consisting mostly of ignoring others in the officer’s gym while he worked various muscles with escalating-ly ridiculous amounts of weight, followed by sparing with Phasma - but it wasn’t a General Hux with silent, mostly dried tears on her cheeks as she stared down at what appeared to be, from his position by the door, Kylo’s datapad. It didn’t help that he rarely saw the General cry, and when she did cry, it usually meant she was in pain or frustrated after a terrible day with her superiors.  
Making his way over and sitting beside his general, Kylo cautiously asked, “What’s wrong? Did something happen?” His confusion only grew as he glanced down at the screen. “Is that the group I told you about?” Kylo’s mood soured at the idea that he had introduced Hux to something that could hurt her. He never wanted to hurt her, not ever. He only ever wanted to protect her - when she let him; she did often prefer to fight her own battles.  
He sat beside Hux, curling around her protectively, and burying his face in her hair. She had let it down again, and Kylo always loved running his hands through her loose hair. It was so soft. He knew that him curling around her tended to calm her, as she “felt like there was a mountain behind her”. Not that Kylo minded. He’d take any excuse to hold Hux close.  
A few days previously, Kylo had quietly sent Hux the link to a holonet chat - anonymous of course, and cleared for security - that contained a few mods who answered questions on gender and what to do if one found themselves questioning their gender. It was like the forum Kylo had used when he had questioned himself, and it even had one of the mods from the old chat. The only problem with the scene in front of him was Hux’ apparent upset at a seemingly innocent conversation about pronouns, and how to use them. (The answer was bascially ‘fuck the rules other people set, you get to choose how you want to be referred to’.)  
“Ren,” Kylo looked up, realizing that Hux had likely called his name while he had read along with the incoming messages on the chat. “Could you . . .” Hux bit her lip, and Kylo had to hold in the urge to bite the lip himself. “Could you, well, could you call me . . . he?”  
Kylo felt his surging protective instincts soften at the quiet request. He set the datapad aside, gathering the General tighter in his arms as he rocked them both soothingly. “Of course Hux. It won’t even be hard.” Kylo pulled away to wipe at the tears on Hux’ face. “I can do whatever my General needs me too; he’s too gorgeous to do otherwise, with his bright red hair and his amazing mind.”  
Kylo noted the lack of Hux’ usual protestations at the compliments as the smaller man closed his eyes, mouthing the words Kylo had just spoken. He was undoubtedly making one of his mental pros and cons lists. The compemplative frown that had marred his features smoothed as he seemed to come to a decision, nodding and opening his eyes. He gave Kylo a lopsided, somewhat watery smile as he whispered, “Yes, yes I like that. Maybe in private, you could do that more often?”  
Kylo matched the smile, nodding enthusiastically. “Of course. And if you change your mind, just let me know.” He glanced back down at the datapad, smirking at a joke the mod he’d recognized had just made. “Has this been helping? It really helped me out, I figured it was a good start.”  
Hux picked up the datapad, idly scrolling back through the messages from earlier as he hummed and nodded. “Yes, it has helped. I was just a bit overwhelmed; I’ve never truly talked about any of this with other people, and the anaminity factor is very comforting.” He glances up at Kylo, almost shyly, and says, “And it’s nice that no one knows my name, so they don’t automatically assume anything about me.”  
Kylo nods, considering Hux’ words. Most of the time, he only ever heard the General referred to as ‘Hux’, or, well, the General. His surname was a good substitute, in place of his birth name. Kylo honestly hadn’t learned Hux’ first name until they had been together for a while, and he knew that Hux hated his name. Which made a bit more sense now, knowing what Kylo knew. Not that Kylo had never had the high ground to mock someone about changing their name, and he knew there were many people that mocked the name he had chosen.  
“Do you want to change your name? If you did, you could always try a few different ones.” Kylo shrugged. “Kylo wasn’t my first choice, it was more of my . . . third, fourth?” With a quick kiss to the top of Hux’ head, Kylo stood, walking toward the ‘fresher. “Let me know if you think of something, I’m going to shower.”

.oOo.

“Maybe Newton? Where have I heard that one?” Kylo continued tinkering with his ‘saber, nose wrinkling as he said the name. “No, I don’t think that sounds right, do you?”  
Hux rolled his eyes from his desk, making another correction to the report he was reviewing. “No, I’m not naming myself Newton, that is my brother’s name.” He ignored Kylo’s amused snort, not even surprised that he’d forgotten Hux’ brother’s name. Hux continued. “I’ve been thinking Alexander, but I don’t know if I want to be known as Alexander Hux.”  
Kylo looked up, thinking for a moment before suggesting, “You could keep Alexander as a middle name? That way you don’t have to reject it outright, but people won’t know you as Alexander either.”  
Hux seems to consider this for a long moment, and he makes a note on the sheet beside him. He and Kylo had been discussing names for days, and occasionally Hux would note down a name. Kylo assumed that Hux would make a choice from a name on that list.  
“I came across the name Armitage the other day, and I rather liked it. It’s . . . refined, and I believe ‘Armitage Hux’ rolls off the tongue nicely.” Hux said this casually, but Kylo could feel his nervousness and vulnerability stirring just under the surface.  
Kylo stands and walks over to Hux, sitting on the desk beside the man’s work. “Armtiage Hux, you are definitely one of the most refined men I’ve ever known.” The smile Hux gives him is blinding, and Kylo can’t resist swooping in for a quick kiss. “Is it going to be Armitage Alexander Hux?”  
Hux looks back down at the name list, and sighs. “Perhaps you weren’t too off-base with Newton? It’s a family name. Armitage Newton Alexander Hux could work.” He looks back down at his reports, the same vulnerability still present. “Not that Newton will ever find out. I’m not speaking to my family about this.”  
Kylo keeps quiet, not wanting to push. It was enough for him that Hux was even acknowledging that something had been wrong, to himself and to Kylo. Family was messy, and there wasn’t always a clear time to bring them into things. And Kylo definitely didn’t have any grounds to lecture Hux about the value of family.  
“Alright Armitage.” Hux’ smile is worth the playful shove, and he returns to his ‘saber, humming in satisfaction as he notices the faulty wire connection he had been looking for. “Have you been using that forum anymore?”  
Hux nods, setting aside his pen with a sigh as he realizes he won’t get any work done. “Yes, I do use it. When I have a question, I just send a message.” He picks up the datapad, opening said forum. “It has been rather helpful. I must admit that I don’t quite know how to thank you for showing me.” Hux frowns, glancing up at Kylo. “How did you know about this again?”  
“Like I said, I questioned my own gender. I just sort of looked around for anything or anyone that knew what they were talking about. I stumbled on a chat with that one mod, hands_off_my_favorite_jacket. This isn’t the same chat, but that mod was really helpful for me, so I figured it’d be another good chat.”  
Hux regards Kylo silently, and Kylo begins to shift nervously. “What? What did I say?” He crosses his eyes to look at his own nose. “Do I have something on my face?”  
Hux chuckles, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. “Don’t be so paranoid. I’m simply surprised that, well, you may understand what I’m thinking. Even if we came to different conclusions about ourselves.”  
Kylo beams, nodding. “I’m glad, because I don’t want you to be alone for any of this.” This gets a blush and a murmured, “Sentimental fool,” from Hux, but Kylo knows the ginger man loves said sentiment.  
“Now,” Hux’ darkened tone had Kylo frowning in concern. “About that hallway you destroyed last week in one of your fits.” Kylo winces, wanting to run before the stern lecture that was no doubt headed his way. “Have I mentioned that I love you Hux? That I’ll get you that fancy tea you like from Arkanis?”  
Unfortunately, mentioning these did not hold off the lecture.

.oOo.

“I’ve been thinking about talking to my physician about all this.”  
Hux didn’t look up from his meal, missing Kylo’s questioning eyebrow raise and still casually cutting into the bantha steak on his plate. He usually didn’t indulge like this, but since Kylo had started joining him for meals, the General had put more effort into eating regularly. Hux had even let Kylo convince him to eat full meals, instead of the diet of ration bars and stims he used to subsist on. Kylo was extraordinarily proud of him for all of this.  
Kylo nodded, finishing his own bite of steak. Hux hated when he spoke with his mouth full. “I think that’s a good idea. What exactly do you want to talk to him about though?”  
Hux answered with a shrug, avoiding Kylo’s eyes still. “I was looking into things, and I was rather drawn in by the idea of receiving hormone therapy, since it would let me present who I am more accurately . . .” Kylo could see the soft blush that had risen as Hux spoke, his bright red ears giving him away even as he hid his face behind the curtain of his hair.  
Kylo couldn’t help but to smile, reaching across the table to take Hux’ hand in his own. “Good idea. If that’s what you want, then you should talk to Doctor Stastri. I’m sure he’ll be more than happy to help you.” Kylo didn’t mention that Dr. Stastri already provided hormones for one of his Knights; he didn’t think Jovhar Ren would appreciate Kylo outing him to the General, shared experience or not. “If you’re nervous, I could always go with you to the med bay.”  
“No!” Hux’ sudden denial shocked Kylo, and he flinched a bit at his tone. Hux lowered his voice, finally looking up at Kylo. He seemed embarrassed by his own outburst. “Sorry, I meant . . . no. I don’t want to draw attention to this. Not yet.” He angrily stabbed his fork into a bit of food, but sighed and set the fork aside without taking a bite. “You being with me in the med bay will have questions flying around like crazy.” Hux snorted softly, adding, “Mainly whether or not I’m pregnant.”  
Despite the solemn tone of conversation they had turned to, Kylo couldn’t help but to laugh. Hux’ nose had crinkled in the center, just like it always did when he mentioned the possibility of him becoming pregnant. Early on in their liaisons, Kylo and Hux had agreed that neither of them wanted to risk bringing a child into this world. They had been very careful, and thus far avoided any unhappy accidents.  
“Alright, I’ll stay away. Can’t have anyone gossiping about us.” He chuckled, and his smile grew as he saw Hux chuckling along with him. Maybe his General would be okay. That’s all he could hope for.  
“You don’t mind?” Hux’ voice was curious, almost awed as he continued eating. “My body would change, Ren. Slowly, yes, but it would change. I won’t look like this anymore.” The nervousness was back, and Kylo nearly cursed every star and system from the edge of the Outer Rim to the center of the Core. Hux was worried that he would care that he didn’t look the same?  
“Hux,” Kylo tried to keep his voice calm, and not to project the frustration at himself into his tone, “I don’t care. I’ll want you either way; I don’t think you could ever change enough that I wouldn’t want you anymore.”  
Kylo stood, rounding the table as Hux muttered token protests to his affections. He knelt beside Hux’ chair, taking his face in his hands. Kylo brushed his thumb across Hux’ cheek, staring back into his wide eyes. “I love you. I won’t just stop loving you because- what? You get some facial hair? Your voice changes?” Kylo presses a gentle kiss to Hux’ lips, savoring the softness of them as Hux shakes a bit in his grasp, not used to this sort of raw emotion. “That’s not the part of you that I love. I love you, and you are a man. So I will love you as one.”  
Hux sighed against him, and Kylo brushed away a few tears. He wasn’t worried. He knew Hux was just processing all this, and it could overwhelm him. “I’m sorry, I can’t say it back yet.” Kylo nodded. He had known. He was willing to wait however long it took. “I know. I don’t mind.” He rests his forehead against Hux’, just enjoying being with his lover.  
Maybe his General would be okay. That’s all he could hope for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like the idea that Kylo is one of those cis guys that actually questioned his gender and just shrugged and decided he's a cis guy. Because that's basically what my younger brother did. Gender can be fun. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter.  
> The intimacy at the end of this chapter wasn't exactly planned, and just happened, so it may seem weird. But I like the idea that sometimes these two let themselves feel things. Even if Hux won't let himself say the things he feels.


	3. Relations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Hux Siblings have a quick chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, this chapter is mostly a nice one. There's just a bunch of family shenanigans and Hux being a bag of anxiety. I hope you enjoy it!

The Hux family had never been particularly close, per se. Not that Armitage Newton Alexander Hux - he rather liked the sound of that, he thought he might keep it - had ever hated his family, aside, perhaps, from his bastard of a father. No, quite the contrary. Hux loved his older siblings, and would always love them. That, however, did not make them the overly affectionate sort that Hux had no doubt the Skywalker family had always been.  
Their contact was rather minimal, in all honesty. Armitage did not remember what he had last called - or even sent a vague message to - his brother or his sister for. It could have been the call he made to Newton to congratulate his brother on his marriage, or maybe it had been the good-hearted argument he’d had with Isabella over private messages about the exact merits (or lack thereof in Armitage’s very biased opinion) of using official First Order resources to fund experimental ships for Isabella to test fly.   
Regardless, Armitage found in the weeks following his conversations with Ren about his new name and pronouns that his siblings were at the forefront of his mind more oft than they had been in some time. Particularly, they were in his mind because he wondered how they would react to having another brother, rather than a sister as they thought they did.   
Armitage had no doubt that they would accept him, they had always been a bit more open minded than Armitage himself was, and were much better than their father could be in even centuries of personal growth. The only issue he could see would be Isabella whining about being the only sister now.   
No, the problem was much more on Armitage’s end. For now, the exact nature of his relationship with gender was like a fun little secret with Ren, one that he could play with all he wanted, and not have to answer any questions about, as it usually tended to be Ren answering his questions about gender, not the other way around. And Ren’s answers were often very open-ended, leaving plenty of room for movement and experimentation, whereas the Hux family was notorious for their love of simple solutions and pragmatism. Armitage rather liked the change of pace for now, and was loathe to give it up.   
And of course, Ren’s open-ended fashion was no help for Armitage’s indecision in the moment.   
“If you don’t want to tell them now, you don’t have to. Kriff Hux, if you never want to tell them, you don’t have to! And you can always change your mind later and tell them when you’re ready.” Ren seemed rather unconcerned from his spot on Hux’ bed, languishly stretching and watching Hux.   
Hux, on the other hand, was rather concerned, and was pacing the length of his suddenly too small bedroom. Hadn’t this room been larger just the night before? It felt as if he had barely turned, sharply rotating on the ball of his foot and stalking to the next end of the room, before he was turning again already. It wasn’t helping his anxiety at all.   
“I know! You’ve said that a veritable million times already!” He couldn’t help but to snap at Ren. “My question was, do you think I should? Not do I have to. I’m not some whining child incapable of knowing what they are and are not allowed to do.” Hux rounded on Ren, growling, “Now would you answer the damned question?!”   
Ren seemed taken aback by Hux’ abrupt manner, and simply stared at the other man for a minute. “Hux, why does it matter to you, whether or not I think you should do it? Usually you tell me to get kriffed if I try to tell you that you should do anything.” This made Hux pause in his pacing, shooting a confused look over to Kylo. “I, well I thought it’d be obvious; your insight on this matter is important to me.” Hux smiles softly, his next words quiet. “I wouldn’t ask for it otherwise.”   
An open-armed invitation from Ren had Hux returning to the bed, face planting rather pathetically into the larger man’s arms. “I just don’t know if it’s a good idea. What if I tell them and I wasn’t truly ready? Or they aren’t as accepting as I thought they would be?”   
Ren runs a soothing hand through Hux’ hair, and he can’t help but to sigh in soft contentment. How had he ever thought he could live without this volatile, childish man? “You want to start transitioning, right? You said you wanted to start hormones.” Hux nods against Ren’s shoulder. He had spent days - nearly weeks, if he was being honest - pouring over the research and medical journals on hormonal treatments for gender dysphoria. Hux could admit that the typical results sounded promising, and the risk was relatively low, compared to the payout.   
The only real problem that existed with pursuing this treatment was that, eventually, people were bound to notice the changes. Whether that was two months or two years from now, someone would figure it out. Gossip traveled quicking, not only on the Finalizer, but throughout the First Order. The best thing to do would be to come outright and tell the crew before any changes became noticeable, to avoid any false information spreading.   
At the thought of the crew knowing such an intimate detail about his life before even his family knew, Hux’ stomach turned. It wouldn’t be fair for Newton and Isabella to find out their sister wasn’t who they thought she was from idle holonet chatter. No, this wasn’t his father. Hux wanted his siblings to know from him and him alone.   
He hadn’t taken into account exactly how difficult scrounging up the courage to tell them would be.   
“I could always be on the chat with you. Just in case.” Ren’s voice pulls Hux from his head, as it usually does. Hux shakes his head. “No, I want to do this for myself. They’re my family; I should be the one to tell them.”   
Ren sits up, dragging Hux into a sitting position with him. “I’m not saying I’d do it for you; you’re right, you should be the one to tell them, if you are going to do it. I’m just suggesting that I could be there for you.” He shrugs, rubbing Hux’ shoulders. The General had to admit that it felt nice, after a hard day of work. “I could be off screen, just in the room. In case you need me.” Ren smirks. “I know you hate it, but I’d be moral support.”   
Hux smacks Ren’s shoulder lightly, glaring at him. “You of all people know I do, actually, have emotions.” He lays his head on the shoulder he had just smacked, sighing heavily. “I’ll think about it. Just . . . give me a few days to figure out what I want to do.”   
Running a hand through Hux’ hair again, Ren nods. “Alright, I can do that.”   
Hux shakes Ren’s hand off, pouting slightly. But only slightly. Armitage Hux doesn’t pout. “Don’t do that. I hate how long my hair is getting.” He brushes a few strands away from his face, glaring at the firey red locks. “I should just cut it already. No offense to you, but long hair on men is absolutely outside of regulation.” Casting a glance at Ren’s mop of hair, Hux adds, “Or maybe offense to you. Have you seen your own head?”   
Hux couldn’t help but smile and laugh as Ren tackled him, wondering how he had convinced this doofus to love him. 

.oOo.

Taking a steadying breath, and ignoring Ren’s idiotically encouraging smile, Hux hit the call button on the joint contact for Newton and Isabella. He honestly was hoping they wouldn’t pick up; they were both busy people, after all. But soon enough, his brother and sister’s faces filled the screen, and Armitage could hear the voice of Newton’s husband chatting idly in the background.   
“Emilia! Haven’t heard from you in a while, why the sudden call? And why is Newt here too?” Isabella’s voice was entirely too cheery, considering it was around sunrise on the planet she was currently stationed on. Did she ever sleep? Armitage shook himself from these thoughts, forcing a smile past the discomfort of hearing his old name.   
“Good . . .” Newton’s eyes flicked to the side of the screen, checking the time, “Afternoon Em, what’s going on with you?” He smiled warmly, and some distant part of Armitage’s childhood, the part where his brother had tucked him in to bed and promised him that yes Dad will get the new speeder, don’t worry Em, reassured him that everything would be okay. He always felt safer when his brother was smiling.   
Armitage smiled back more genuinely now, tapping his fingers on the desk beside his comms systems. “It’s good to see you both. I’m calling on a personal matter, but it’s something rather important, that I feel you should hear directly from me, rather than the holonet” He chuckled a bit nervously, “And Maker forbid you’d hear it from Father.”   
Isabella mock-gasped, covering her mouth in scandal. “But Em, personal matters are to be strictly personal! How dare you reduce yourself to the level of us mortals!” Armitage rolls his eyes as Newton grins, and his husband calls a soft “Nice one Izzy!” Armitage had always liked Newton’s husband; Jasper was a kind and easy-going man, and he honestly didn’t mind having the extra ears present for this conversation. Newton would have told Jasper as soon as the call was over anyway.   
Armitage ignored his baby sister’s comment, instead proceeding as if she had said nothing. “In the past few weeks, I have come to realize, or perhaps more accurately acknowledge, a part of myself that I’ve been contemplating for years.” At his words and tone, Newton and Isabella had both gone silent, worried expressions taking over their faces. They both looked so different than Armitage himself did; Isabella’s rosy cheeks, dark eyes, and light hair lending her a soft sense of excited mystery and Newton’s same dark eyes matched nicely to his straight, dark as night locks. Neither of them had been as unfortunate as Armitage had been in taking after their Father, both favoring the features of their respective mothers. Armitage had always resented his own similarity to his Father; though he supposed those features would become even more similar, as he transitioned and began to appear more masculine. What joy.   
“I wish to tell you this now, because I intend to take actions that may lead to talk throughout the Order, and I would rather you hear it directly from me.” He swallows nervously, the click in his throat seemingly deafening in his fear. “I . . .” He closes his eyes, not wanting to see his siblings’ disappointed expressions as he says the words. “I am transgender; I identify as a man, and I ask that you refer to me as Armitage and he from now on.”   
The soft quiet was almost too much to bear, before Isabella’s voice comes through the comms, false frustration coloring her tone, “Dammit Armitage you’re making me the only sister?!”   
Armitage can’t help but laugh in relief; trust Isabella to be so easily predictable. Newton hushed their sister, a quietly scandalized, “Isabella! Don’t tease him right now!” being the only indication that he was even still connected to the call.   
Feeling a hand on his shoulder, Armitage opened his eyes and looked up to see Ren hovering over him, smiling at the screen. “No, he deserves to be teased. You should have seen the amount of pacing he’s done the last two weeks; I don’t know how you two grew up with him without going crazy!” This earns Ren a solid whack to the chest, but only more laughter from the Hux siblings.   
“They didn’t. They’re all crazy.” Jasper sat beside Newton, smiling kindly at Armitage. “Thank you for telling us this Armitage. We all still love you darling.” Quick agreements came from both Newton and Isabella, and Armitage struggled to blink back tears. It felt good, to have his family’s support. Hypothesising was one thing; actually having the support, actually hearing his siblings - his family - say they loved him unconditionally, as him, just as he was . . . he would always cherish this.   
Ren’s hand on his shoulder squeezed lightly, grounding him. He sniffed, wiping at his eyes before smiling at his family again. “Thank you, I can’t tell you all how much your support means to me.” He trailed off, feeling almost lost. He had been preparing himself mentally for the bad outcome. He hadn’t exactly considered what to do if the good outcome actually came about.   
Ren laughs again, leaning down over Hux. “Aaaaaaand we’ve broke him. Emotions are too much. Hux.exe has crashed.” Armitage laughed along with his siblings again. They all exchanged goodbyes, since Armitage agreed that he was emotionally exhausted.   
After his family had signed off, Hux pulled Ren into a relieved kiss, sighing happily against his lips. “I am glad that’s over.” He lays his forehead against Ren’s shoulder. “I need to sleep.” Ren chuckles, lifting Hux up despite his shrieking protests.   
Hux hadn’t slept this well since he was a child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record, when I actually came out to my sister, her reaction was, in fact, "You're making me the only sister!" It was hilarious. My brother was a bit more worried that he was no longer the oldest boy in the family. And he uses it to tease my sister about being the only girl now. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy the chapter. I know I enjoyed writing it.


	4. Old Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I know I have been missing for forever, but with the downtime from classes going online I have been able to write a bit more. I have two more chapters in the works after this one, and I'll try to post them when they're cleaner. 
> 
> **THE TAGS HAVE BEEN UPDATED** Not all of them will come in the following two chapters, or even this one, but I've done more planning for this fic and you can expect to see these things here. 
> 
> Anyway, please enjoy.

Hux couldn’t stop touching his hair. It felt so light, as if he had somehow created an artificial circle of anti-grav around his own head. He kept turning his head too hard, compensating for a weight that wasn’t there anymore.  
Ren had helped him cut his hair three cycles ago. Hux had fidgeted through the whole process, earning himself a few growls of “Hold still Force dammit!”, and Hux had been pleasantly surprised by the smooth, professional style Ren had managed to create. Hux had wanted to get someone else to do it, but had given into Ren’s whining that he was perfectly capable of fixing Hux’ hair on his own. Hux has yet to regret letting Ren do the deed.   
He had, in fact, still been in such high spirits about the change when he had walked onto the bridge that he hadn’t noticed the hush that had fallen over his officers and troopers upon his entrance. After a few seconds of the startling silence, Hux had taken notice, and barked an order to return to work. No one had been brave enough to challenge him so far.   
Well, no one but Phasma. He could practically feel her playful smirk as she had whispered to him, “Emilia, breaking regulation? I never would have thought Lord Ren could influence you that much.” Hux had promptly turned scarlet as he reminded the Captain to remain professional.   
Hux idly wondered what Phasma’s reaction to his transition would be. She was as no nonsense as any Hux, so she would likely shrug it off, but she had surprised him in the past. That was one reason they were friends; she always managed to catch him off guard, often in pleasant and amusing ways.   
He was broken from his thoughts when the Dr.Stastri entered the room, giving Hux a warm smile. Hux had never felt anything less than comforted and well-cared-for in Dr.Stastri’s company, even when Ren had once commented on the oddity that was a high ranking female officer having a male physician. Hux knew most women were uncomfortable with having a man as a doctor, but it had never come up. Dr.Stastri had been Hux’ physician since he was fresh out of the academy, and Hux would rather have no physician than replace Dr.Stastri.   
Dr.Stastri sat on the stool that was placed near the examination table, glancing through Hux’ medical history. “Hux, how are you doing?” He looks up at Hux, that gentle smile still in place. “You contacted me because you had specific concerns; is there anything wrong?”   
Hux swallowed back his nerves. It would be fine. Dr.Stastri is a professional; it’s his job to care for his patients, regardless of their identity or background or rank. “Well, recently, I came to the conclusion that I am transgender. I was wondering if there is any way that I could pursue hormone replacement therapy treatments at this time.” He fought the rising tide of warmth in his checks, not wanting to look like a blushing maiden through this whole process. He was a professional, dammit, and he would look the part.   
Dr.Stastri didn’t react for a second, and Hux nervously clenched and unclenched his fists. Had this been a mistake? Would Dr.Stastri label him some sort of sociopath? He tried not to fidget any more than he already had, and held his breath.   
“Frankly, Hux, I’ve never had a patient be so blunt about something as big as this.” Dr.Stastri offered Hux a warm smile, and Hux let himself breathe a sigh of relief, every muscle that had tensed relaxing at once. “Of course, there are a few things we need to cover - I can’t just skip over informed consent or an evaluation of your mental status - but I can’t see any reason we can’t have you on testosterone treatments within the next week or two.”   
Hux let out a happy little laugh; so soon? He thought there would have been more hoops to jump through, more time he’d have to wait; it was why he had wanted to get the process going as soon as possible. He couldn’t hold back the rush of euphoric hope that ran through him upon hearing he could start this in a week.   
Dr.Stastri’s soft chuckle broke him from his thoughts. He watched as the doctor took a few notes, standing and moving over to the computer terminal in the wall. “Well, I doubt you’ll be having any second thoughts, based on that reaction. And congratulations Hux, I’m glad you feel comfortable enough to start moving forward with your transition.”   
Hux gave Dr.Stastri a genuine smile. He found he’d been giving more of those out lately. “Thank you, sir. I just got tired of hiding things.”   
“Have you thought about how you will announce this to the crew?” Dr.Stastri sent a quick glance over his shoulder to Hux. “I’m warning you now; there will be some negative pushback. It’s unfortunate, but it’s not worth the hurt later to pretend it will not happen.”   
Hux felt his good mood sink just a bit; he knew the doctor was right. He could already hear some of what the crew would say; especially the old guard, men like his Father. He took a deep breath, steadying himself. He had Ren, he had Newton and Isabella; hopefully there would be others who would support him just as much as they had. “I haven’t decided quite yet how to approach this. My . . . partner and I have talked about it briefly, but for now, I’d rather this stay a private matter.”   
Dr.Stastri nodded, retrieving a few pages of filmsi from the computer. “You do understand that if you pursue this treatment, people will start to notice changes? Particularly in your voice, and in your face.” He hands the papers to Hux. The Effects and Change of Hormone Replacement Therapy. Hux knew everything on this document already; he wouldn’t be here if he hadn’t done his own research. “It may take a few months, but the crew will likely be able to put two and two together.”   
Hux nods, clutching the papers as a lifeline. Why did everything in this have to be a double-edged saber? He simply wanted to be himself; why should others be privy to any of this? “I know.” He hates how soft, how broken his voice sounds. It was nowhere near his usual commanding tone. “And I know it’s best to control the narrative, before too many rumors can spread. I just want time to enjoy this without everyone on the ship breathing down my neck about it . . .”   
Dr.Stastri nodded sympathetically; he was a good listener. Hux had always found it easier to be honest with him than he usually would be. “And you should be able to have your privacy. I am not trying to convince you of one course of action or another. I simply want to be sure you understand what you’re getting into.”   
“Thank you. I appreciate the concern, and I can’t say that I haven’t worried over this before.” His eyes find the paper again, and he decides to set everything else aside. It was time to take care of himself for once.   
“So how will this all work?” 

.oOo. 

Lieutenant Mitaka bounced nervously at the counter, tapping their fingers nervously as they waited for their prescription. They never understood why it took so long. They were here on the same day, at the same time, for the same prescription, every month, for the past six years without fail. Mitaka had only missed this time and day once, but they had sent Phasma for them, and the Captain had been able to get the prescription within the span of five minutes. They had never quite understood how she had done that.   
Well, they knew how; who was stupid enough to leave Captain Phasma waiting for anything?   
They sighed in relief, murmuring a quiet thank you to the nurse who had retrieved their prescription, before scurrying away, down one of the halls that would take them back to the bridge. They glanced down at the label on the non-descript box, double checking that everything was in order. There was no point in walking all the way to the bridge if they had been given the wrong box. It had happened once or twice, so they were right to worry.   
They let out a startled yelp when they collided with something solid and warm - someone? - sending them stumbling backwards, losing their footing and falling to the floor. They looked up, aware that this was probably their own fault for not looking, and nearly yelped again in alarm when they saw a confused and equally dazed General Hux sitting in front of them.   
“General! I’m so sorry Ma’am, I should have been looking where I was going.” They spotted a prescription box on the ground, quickly reaching to pick it up. That’s odd, they had put theirs in their bag. It shouldn’t have fallen out. “I’ll be more careful next time. . .”  
They trail off, staring down at the box. It wasn’t theirs, though they had assumed it was at first. It was the correct prescription; a low, monthly dose of testosterone. But the name at the top was wrong. Emilia C. Hux. Mitaka blinked down at the box, and before they could stop themselves, their mouth had opened.   
“You’re like me!”   
They looked up, and shrank back under the harsh stare in General Hux’ eyes. Ever since she had cut her hair, she seemed even more severe, even sharper in her uniform and convictions. Mitaka quickly thrust the box over to her, feeling their checks burn red with embarrassment. “I’m so sorry Ma’am, I didn’t realize this was yours. I shouldn’t have said anything. . .” They trailed off again when the glare didn’t soften. Usually, General Hux was rather kind to them. Now, she seemed pissed.   
“Lieutenant, follow me. I believe we need to talk.” The general stood swiftly, not waiting for Mitaka before she turned and headed toward the officer’s quarters. Mitaka swallowed nervously, scrambling to follow after her.   
Mitaka could feel their hands shaking. No doubt the general would ask them about what their comment had meant, and they weren’t ready to explain this to the General; by the time they had transferred to the Finalizer, they had already gone through most of their transition, and everyone had simply seen them as a man. They hadn’t exactly protested; many people in the Order - and in the galaxy - could be downright cruel when they knew that Mitaka didn’t subscribe to the basic gender roles most humans had. It also afforded them a bit more respect to be seen as a man, rather than a woman, however unfortunate that was, and it was the more comfortable realm of the two for them to be referred to as.  
And now they had to explain this all to General Hux. How would she react? Would she transfer Mitaka off of the Finalizer? Tears sprang to Mitaka’s eyes at the thought; they didn’t want to leave. The Finalizer had become their home. Oh stars, what if the General had them discharged from service, what would Mitaka even do if they weren’t in the First Order, they had to think of some way to explain this . . .   
But it was too late to think of anything. They had reached the General’s living quarters. The General keyed in the access code, waving Mitaka in first. They meekly stood in the center of the room, not sure what to do. Would it be rude to sit? They kept their eyes to the floor, desperately trying to hold back tears. This was it. General Hux would have them discharged, and their life in the First Order would be over.   
“Now, Lieutenant; explain yourself.”   
Mitaka couldn’t have stopped the flood of their words if they had tried; it was all too much at once, too much to be said. “I really didn’t mean to look at your prescription! It was an accident! It looks the same as mine, and well, it is the same as mine, and I honestly thought I had just dropped mine, because I pick it up every month, and I didn’t think that you were like me, I thought I was the only one here who was like that, and I was just so excited and I didn’t think before I said what I said, and I should have respected your privacy, I promise it won’t happen again ma’am-”   
They snapped their mouth shut, eyes widening and fear spiking when dark, non-standard issue boots came into their view where their eyes were trained to the ground. They knew those boots. Only one person on the ship wore them.   
Kylo Ren was standing in front of them.   
“Hux, I think you broke him. He’s not talking anymore.”   
“Ren, that could be because you terrify everyone on this ship, including the poor Lieutenant, and you’re currently standing two inches in front of him.”   
“Well, it’s not my fault that he was rambling. I just wanted to get him to look up.”   
“Perhaps you should take a step back? Let him breathe?”   
“Fine, but if he starts rambling again, I might slap him.”   
“You are, under no circumstance, allowed to slap Mitaka.”   
“Not even a little?”   
“No. Your slap could conceivably kill him.”   
“Fine, fine. You slap him then.”   
The boots disappeared, and Mitaka finally felt like they could breathe again. Had Kylo Ren just threatened to slap them?! They kept their jaw clenched tightly shut, not even wanting to risk the dark Knight having reason to come near them again. They had seen what he could do to durasteel with his bare hands; he would snap Mitaka like a twig.   
A gentle hand was placed on their shoulder, and Mitaka let out a shuddering breath of relief. “It’s alright Lieutenant. I am sorry if I scared you earlier; I’m simply confused.” They allowed themselves to peak up at Hux, who was giving them a concerned look. “Come, sit. And explain to me what is going on in terms that make sense, please.” A slight smile appeared on the General’s face, and Mitaka couldn’t help but smile shakily back. “I swear that you are not in any trouble.”   
Mitaka let themselves be guided to the couch, sitting perched on the edge of the seats. They could see Commander Ren loaming in the corner of the room, just barely within their line of sight, and they shifted nervously. “I’m sorry ma’am, sir. I didn’t mean to ramble.”   
Hux sat beside them, holding up one black-gloved hand and frowning. “Before we start, Lieutenant, I ask that you stop calling me ma’am.” Hux glance over Mitaka’s shoulder at Commander Ren before looking back to Mitaka, taking a steadying breath. What could the General possibly be nervous about? Especially around someone as non-important as Mitaka.  
“What should I call you, ma-- um, General?” Mitaka could feel themselves blush in embarrassment at the slip-up. Maker, why couldn’t they seem to behave like a normal person today?   
“I would prefer, for now, that you simply refer to me by my name. Hux is more than enough.” That soft smile was back, but it was different this time -- more reluctant. As if she was debating with herself on what to say next. “And, in the future, I would prefer for you to call me ‘sir’. It’s a bit more accurate to my situation.” She ran a nervous hand through her short hair.   
Mitaka almost laughed from the relief. “I think I perfectly understand sir.” This earned him a doubtful, if not perfectly contented, look in response. “I think we have a bit more in common than I had thought.” They took their own steadying breath, quickly adding before they lost their courage, “I was born a girl, but since I’ve transitioned, everyone assumes I’m just a man. Which is alright, I guess, but it’s not quite accurate.”   
Hux blinked, giving Mitaka a searching, thoughtful look. “Well, how would you like to be referred to?” Mitaka blushed at the General’s question, and glanced back at Commander Ren uncertainly. “Don’t worry about him; he won’t judge you for this.”   
A soft snort comes from behind Mitaka, followed quickly by Ren’s deep, rumbling voice. “Not for this, no. This is something I would not use against our enemies, let alone one of our officers.”   
That was . . . oddly reassuring. Maybe, just maybe, this time wouldn’t be a disaster. “Well, I use they/them pronouns . . . I don’t really see myself as a man or a woman . . . I never really felt aligned to anything like that, not even the xeno genders I’ve heard of.” They felt their face color in embarrassment yet again as they spoke, but the calming smile from Hux and lack of jeering from Ren helped sooth their lingering anxiety; these people were their friends, not their enemies. “I usually don’t correct anyone about it, because I’m okay with just Phasma knowing.”   
Hux’ hand on their shoulder was like a spot of warmth in the cold of the Star Destroyer. “I more than understand. It’s only in the privacy of these rooms that I let Ren refer to me as ‘he’ and, well,” Hux’ face turns as red as Mitaka’s- or, well, as red as they are sure their own face is. “And as Armitage.”   
Mitaka couldn’t quite believe what they were hearing. The General was actually like them? They never would have thought they would get to meet someone else like them on the Finalizer, let alone that that person would be General Hux. But they understood why the General may not want to tell anyone. They were afraid of the hostility they could face, and they were a common Lieutenant; what sort of backlash could there be for the highest-ranking General if he were to come out? They couldn’t imagine it.   
Mitaka nodded, smiling. “Sir, would you like me to use those as well, at least without the other officers around . . .?” They trailed off, unsure if they had just overstepped their bounds. They couldn’t imagine being so familiar with their General, a man they had always respected and looked up to. And when would they conceivably have the chance to use these names and pronouns? They only ever really talked to the General on the bridge, and obviously they weren’t about to out Hux in front of the entirety of the Finalizer’s upper command.   
Hux sighed, looking over at Ren. “That . . . may not be necessary. I do intend on officially notifying the crew on my transition soon, since I can only hide some physical changes for so long, and questions are bound to come up.” Hux looks back at them, a resigned look in his eyes. “I would be grateful if you could be there and offer your support, but I understand why you might not be able or willing to put yourself in that position.”   
Mitaka shrugged, nodding in agreement. “I simply don’t think I could safely do so, sir. I don’t have the same level of respect from the crew that you do . . .”   
Hux rested his hand on Mitaka’s shoulder, squeezing gently. “You have no obligation to put yourself in that situation, and I understand. Keep yourself safe.” Hux gives them a supportive smile, pulling his hand back and adding, “But to answer your earlier question, yes, I would like it if you were to use my new name and pronouns when in private until I make the general announcement.”   
They talked for a while longer, about little things, and about projects on the bridge, before Mitaka excused themselves. Phasma was probably wondering where they had gone, they were supposed to be back in their shared quarters ages ago.   
“Thank you for trusting me with this sir. I know it’s a big leap to take.” They were standing just inside the doorway to the General’s quarters, about to leave, as Hux walked them out. “I hope things go well for you, and that the crew responds well.” They gave the General a tentative smile, and received a matching one in return.   
“We can only hope Mitaka. We can only hope.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I did Mitaka justice here, but I guess we'll see how you guys like him. I hope you enjoy.   
> And for the record, I intend to simply ignore the Last Jedi and Rise of Skywalker as canon. It was an executive choice. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter!


End file.
